All teens are particularly vulnerable to sexual assault and sexually aggressive behavior.  Teenagers are in the age group most frequently victimized by sexual assault and least likely to report an experience of attempted or completed rape.  Teens 16-19 years old are 3 ½ times more likely than everyone else to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault.  The teen years also are when sex offenders begin to assault.  60% of all offenders begin committing sex crimes during adolescence.

Many times when we hear the word “assault,” we think of a random attack committed by a random person.  You’ve heard the term “date rape,” right?  What is date rape?  Date/ acquaintance rape is unwanted sexual activity by someone you know or have just met – a boyfriend, classmate, neighbor, friend, or maybe someone you’ve just met at a party.  It’s a fact- the majority of sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the victim.

Unwanted sexual activity is sexual assault, which means being forced to do anything sexual that you don’t want to do.  It could include intercourse, or any kind of penetration of or by a sexual body part or another object.  But sexual assault doesn’t only mean penetration or rape.  Sexual assault can mean being forced into exposing your body or into seeing sexual things you don’t want to see, like someone else’s body, or pornography.  It might mean being touched over or under your clothes when you don’t want to be.  There might be physical force.  More often, the force isn’t physical, but comes from being tricked or pressured into the sexual activity. 

Like we mentioned, the majority of sexual assaults are committed by someone you know.  What happens if you really like the person?  How far is enough?  How far is too far?  Set limits for yourself.  Don’t be afraid to tell the other person your limits.  Say what you mean, and if your date cares for you they will respect your wishes.  Communication and respect are critical to preventing sexual assault.  If someone says “no,” it means no, no matter how it is said, and no matter how far you have already gone.  If you feel like you’re getting double messages, stop and talk about it.  If your date says “no” to being sexual, don’t look at it as a rejection of you, it just means they don’t want the activity at that time.  Accept your date’s decision.  Forcing sexual activity does not make you seem more adult or more experienced.

Our attitudes are important in how we think about sexual assault, and these attitudes are the key to preventing sexual assault.  Here are some myths held by teens in Hawaii, and remember, both girls and guys can commit sexual assaults. 

·          Myth #1: When girls say “no,” they really mean “maybe.”

Fact: No means no, the first time it is said—period.  If the person says no, STOP. 

·          Myth #2: Forced sex is acceptable if “the girl gets the boy sexually excited” or vice versa.

Fact: Forced sex is never ok, no matter how excited the person says they are.  It is always possible for the person to stop the sexual activity, no matter how they might try to convince you otherwise.

·          Myth #3: Someone who dresses “sexy” or walks alone at night is “asking for it.”

Fact: No matter what sort of behavior a person engages in, no one ever asks to be or deserves to be assaulted and have their body used in ways that they don’t want. It is never okay to force anyone into sexual activity.

If you have been raped or sexually assaulted, you have many choices.  First, go to a safe place and call 911, or go to the police station or emergency room immediately.  Don’t urinate (go to the bathroom), douche, take a bath or change clothes before getting help; these things can erase evidence of the sexual assault.  You can also call the Sex Abuse Treatment Center’s 24-hour Hotline at 524-RAPE (7273) for help.  They offer free and confidential help to any victim of sexual assault, any time of the day or night.  You can also contact the Teen Alert Program Hotline at the Domestic Violence Action Center at 531-3771 or 1-800-690-6200 (neighbor island toll-free).

Also, please tell someone you trust immediately who can help you.  If you know someone who has been assaulted and they’re not able to get help, please follow the steps we’ve listed and help by calling a hotline, calling the police, take them to the emergency room or to a doctor, etc. 

Here are some important things for everyone to remember:

·          Stay alert.  Know that alcohol and other drugs can affect how you and your date make decisions.  Many date or acquaintance rapes occur after drinking or using drugs.

·          Trust your feelings.  If a situation begins to feel uncomfortable, trust your gut feeling and leave.  Don’t worry about causing a scene, just go someplace where you feel safe.

·          People who have been sexually assaulted or who have experienced date rape often blame themselves for what happened, but sexual assault is never their fault.  Teens are sometimes involved in high-risk activities, like sneaking out at night, experimenting with alcohol and other drugs, or trying sexual behaviors for the first time; if a sexual assault happens while a teen is doing things like this, she or he is not to blame for the assault.  No one deserves to be violated.