Trust is hard to build but easy to destroy.  Because trust is earned, it’s hard to re-establish once it is broken.  It gets even harder to re-establish each additional time it is lost.  After a while, you build up a reputation of letting people down and it’s not easy to break a reputation like that.  Trying to get someone’s trust back, such as your parents, takes a lot of time - your time.  You are going to have to be patient and sensitive to them because it was you who messed up. 

     From personal experience, you probably understand that when a friend lies to you, tells someone else your secrets, or takes something from you, you may let it slide or you may not, but it’s still not a great feeling.  You want to trust that person because they are your friend.  It might be hard for you to be able to trust them again, especially if they don’t think that they were wrong.  Even after they apologize, you may be on your guard for a little while because your heart as well as your trust in them might be breaking.  When someone abuses your trust, you may feel overwhelmed with betrayal.  You may also feel lost, disappointed, sad, embarrassed, angry, and maybe even vengeful. 

      There are many things you could do that would cause your parents to lose faith in you.  You could break the house rules they set for you, you could hurt them physically or emotionally, you could steal from them, you could do something they told you not to do or not do something they told you to do, or you could lie to them.  Parents tell you things and keep you from doing things or going places because they are trying their best to be your protectors from the dangers of the world.  Although most of us feel like we are old enough to take care of ourselves, in reality we have a lot to learn.  Our parents are there to help guide us.  If you are trying your best to rebuild trust with your parents, but you don’t agree with a rule and you catch yourself scheming against them, realize that you have a choice to make.  You could lie again and re-break their trust that you want back, or you could be honest and talk to them about how you feel.  You want to build the trust so your parents will let you go hang out with your friends.  Trust and respect are the results of honesty. 

      When trying to get your parent’s trust back it’s probably going to be difficult.  They are people, so they’ll probably feel betrayed by you, disappointed by you, embarrassed, or angry at you.  The same emotions you feel when a friend betrays your trust but on a higher level because they love you so much.  They raised you to be an honest person or at least not to be dishonest with them. 

      The good news, however, is that trust can be restored.  The first thing you should do is learn to be honest and take responsibility for the actions you commit or the things you say.  Once you lie to your parents, they may tend to see lying as a new pattern for you.  If you are inconsistent at telling the truth, your parents won’t know when to trust you.  You have already broken their trust and you shouldn’t be surprised when they doubt your word.  If you do lie, you need to start showing them a consistent pattern of owning up to your mistakes.  If it really was you, let them know.  A second suggestion is to take the situation you got yourself into seriously.  It’s never good to make the person that you lied to, feel even worse when they are trying to trust you and you disappoint them by lying again.  Lastly, take action and correct your mistakes.  If you show initiative by trying to correct things without being told to, it will show the person you wronged that you are being genuine and sincere about mending the broken relationship.  Do what you can in your means to make the wrong right again and remember not to forget how hard it is to build up broken trust. 

      To start, here are some suggestions that you can practice every day.  Be in constant communication with both of your parents.  Write things down for them; leave them detailed notes and voicemails of “who, what, where, why, when, and how.”  If you are grounded, accept it and serve your time.  It’s going to be hard but at the same time it is so worth it when you are set free and you can go as you please, in moderation, with your parents newly built trust.

      Nobody said gaining your parents’ trust back would be easy.  It’s going to take a lot of work.  When your parents ask you to do something or not to do something, they have their reasons.  If you disagree with them, talk to them about it.  Do not sneak around or start lying to them.  You have to be consistent when it comes to telling the truth.  You can’t just tell the truth when it’s convenient for you.  Own up to your mistakes.  After all, honesty is the best policy.