If a friend is threatening to commit suicide right now and you’re with them, cautiously remove the drugs, gun or whatever your friend may be considering using from the area.  However, if your friend is holding a loaded gun or a knife, don’t try to take it away.  Calmly ask them to give you the weapon and then encourage your friend to talk about their feelings.  Stay with your friend at least until the crisis is over.  During the crisis, it is critical to contact an adult you both trust who can help you deal with this situation—perhaps your friend’s parents or yours, a school counselor or a minister.  An alternative is to call a suicide prevention or crisis intervention hotline such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.  Immediately contact an adult if any weapon is involved.

An estimated 1 million people a year die by committing suicide.  What drives a person to intentionally end their life?  It is hard to understand the plight of a suicidal person if you aren’t in their shoes.  Suicide is a desperate attempt to end hurting that has become unbearable.  It is important to understand that suicidal people are conflicted about ending their own lives.  They wish there was another way to stop their pain, but they feel hopeless.

A suicidal person may not ask for help, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want help.  Most people who commit suicide do not want to die – they simply want the pain to go away.  If you know someone who is thinking about suicide, you may feel uncomfortable bringing it up.  Remember, talking openly about suicidal thoughts can potentially save a life.  Suicide prevention starts with recognizing warning signs and taking them seriously.

Most suicidal persons are conflicted about their suicidal feelings.  As a result, most show some of the following warning signs:

• Talking about killing or harming oneself
• Writing about death
• Seeking out weapons to use such as drugs, knives, or guns
• Having no hope for the future or feeling trapped
• Feeling worthless
• Making arrangements for death, such as making a will and giving away prized possessions
• Saying goodbye
• Withdrawing
• Self destructive behavior, such as unsafe sex, reckless driving, increased use of drugs and alcohol
• Exhibiting a sudden sense of calmness – this sense of calm after a period of depression can mean the person has made the final decision to proceed with suicide. 

If a friend is showing warning signs of suicide, you may be uncertain about your role as a friend.  Should you confront them?  What if you’re wrong?  What if they get angry?  What if you plant the idea in their head?  The best way to find out if someone is suicidal is to just ask.  Your genuine concern and care will not encourage suicidal thoughts.  In fact, you asking may give them a chance to express their feelings, make them feel as if someone cares.  In return, your concern may prevent a suicide attempt.  Here are some suggested questions to ask:

·        Do you think about harming yourself?

·        Have you thought about suicide?

·        Have you ever thought it wouldn’t matter if you were dead?

If they answer “yes” to any of these questions, encourage them to explain why.  If someone openly tells you they are suicidal, it’s important to evaluate the severity of the threat.   Remember: Those at highest risk for committing suicide in the near future have a specific suicide plan, the means to carry it out, a time schedule for doing it, and the intention to do it.  Here is a guideline of the different levels of risk a person may be at:

LOW RISK: Some suicidal thoughts.  No plan.  Says they won’t commit                  suicide.

MODERATE RISK: Suicidal thoughts.  Vague plan that is lethal.  Says they won’t commit suicide

HIGH RISK: Suicidal thoughts. Specific plan that is lethal.  Says they won’t commit suicide

SEVERE RISK: Suicidal thoughts. Specific plan that is lethal.  Says they will commit suicide.

Remember: Do not under any conditions leave a suicidal person alone!

The best way to offer support is to offer empathy and a listening ear.  Let them know they are not alone.  Remember, you can offer support, but you can’t get better for a suicidal person.  They have to want to get better. 

Here are some ways to help a suicidal person:

• Get help.  Call a crisis hotline for referrals or advice.
• Do not promise confidentiality.  A life is on the line – do not promise your friend that you will keep their identity a secret from the people who are helping.
• Offer them optimism.
• Listen.  Lend them an ear.  DO NOT act shocked, lecture on life, or say suicide is wrong.
• MAKE A PLAN FOR LIFE.  Help them come up with steps to take in case of a suicide crisis that they promise they will follow.

At least 90 percent of people who commit suicide suffer from depression, alcoholism, or a mental disorder.  Depression in particular plays a large role.  In addition to these general risk factors, both teenagers and elders are at a higher risk than other age groups. 

Teenage suicide is a growing problem.  In a world of emotional turbulence and stress, teenage years can be tough.  Teenagers face the pressure to succeed and to fit in.  They struggle with self-esteem and self-doubt.  If someone you know is thinking of suicide, get help.  Don’t try to handle the situation on your own.  It takes many years of professional training to effectively handle suicidal individuals.  So if your friend makes you promise not to tell anyone, break that promise!  You can save their life by getting help.