• Some young people think they’re ready for sex because they want to be sexually active.  They’ve heard that sex is fun and feels good, and they don’t want to miss out.
• Or, if they’re already emotionally involved with someone they may feel they’re really in love, and want to have sex because of the strong physical and emotional attraction.
• Sometimes a boy or girl feels they need to have sex with a steady boyfriend or girlfriend in order to please that person - to keep him or her interested, satisfied, or to just keep him or her.
• And then there are people who feel that having sex would make them more of a man or more of a woman.
• Pregnancy. Some girls use it as their reason for having sex. Maybe they badly want to be loved and feel that a small, dependent baby will give them that love. Or they want to hang onto a guy and figure that a baby will at least keep the father around or maybe even lead to marriage.
• Everybody’s doing it. Or, it seems like everyone’s doing it, and they don’t want to be the only ones not to.
• If they’re angry with their parents, they may want to get even with them. Becoming sexually active might seem like a good way to get revenge, especially if their parents don’t approve of pre-marital sex, or sex for young people.
• Then there’s a reason that’s not talked about too much, and that’s using sex for money.  Sometimes receiving money- and other things that have monetary value like alcohol and other drugs- in exchange for sex can make a person feel popular or loved.
• Often a person tries to convince the other to do something he or she just doesn’t want to, which leads to unwanted, regretted physical contact, or in too many instances, date rape.

      These are just some of the reasons young people have sex.  But what about the responsibilities that come with having sex?  If you think you’re ready for sex, are you ready for the responsibilities and consequences involved?  Let’s look at some of the possibilities:

• Pregnancy. Everybody knows about this one. No birth control method except not having sexual intercourse, or abstinence, is 100% safe; some are just safer than others are. How would you handle it if you found yourself pregnant? Or if you’re a boy, were told by someone you had sex with that she’s pregnant?
• Sexually Transmitted Diseases/Infections such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, or HIV/AIDS.  You can choose your sex partner, but you have no control over the number or kind of partners your partner chose in the past.  And as much as you don’t want to believe it, you may not be able to rely on your partner to give you straight answers about their previous partners.
• How would you feel about yourself? Would you feel guilty? Would you feel ashamed? Would you feel used?
• Parents sometimes find out. How would your parents handle it? How would you feel if they found out?
• Reputation. Word usually gets around, and you can quickly lose a reputation you value, or get one you really didn’t want.

      These are hard questions to answer now, but ones you should think about.  Think, too, about the fact that early sexual experience can be physically and emotionally harmful for some people, and can influence how they relate sexually to others later in life.  Although sex itself is a physical act, it can often lead to emotional pain. If you love and trust someone with whom you are sexually involved, a break-up can really hurt. For most people having sex with someone requires a very special sort of trust. They feel a tremendous sense of loss and betrayal when that trust is broken.

     Whether or not you’re ready for sex is a question only you can answer.  You owe it to yourself to give this decision a lot of thought.  Ideally, we would love to tell you to please wait until you are older; however, in the end, what you do should be what you believe in and what you feel you can be responsible for.  Talking it over with someone is always a good idea.  You may also want to discuss your thoughts and questions.  And if you feel comfortable, discuss questions with a trusted adult, like a parent, a teacher, a clergy-person, or a school counselor. 

     If you’ve made the decision to have sex and are ready to take on the responsibilities, give serious thought to birth control.  If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, take a risk on real intimacy by talking it over with him or her.  Get the facts and then decide which method is best for your situation.

     Deciding whether or not you’re ready for sex is a serious decision, so be open and honest with yourself and the person you care about.  Waiting until you’re older and are truly certain of your decision can be a very loving and wise decision to make.