Feeling down about the way you look can be frustrating!  It affects the way you feel about yourself and the way you relate to others.  We’d like to help by talking about why you may be down on yourself about your looks and what you can do about it.

      One reason you may be unhappy is that you’re probably too critical of yourself.  You might feel better if you understand some of the strange things that can happen to your body during your teen years.  Your arms, hands, feet and legs are probably growing faster than the rest of you.  This can make you look and feel awkward and clumsy.  Your body may be shooting up, and you’re not filling out.  The oil glands in your skin may also be going wild.  In the teen years, these glands produce too much oil, which often causes blackheads, whiteheads, and pimples and greasy hair.  Most teens have these problems, and you shouldn’t be too upset by them.  Eventually the rest of your body will catch up to the parts of you that are growing fast now.  Your skin glands will stop pouring out the oil that’s now causing skim problems.  It’s true, you really don’t need all these hassles now—but they are a natural part of your physical growth.  Remember though, that these problems are not permanent ones.

      Besides being too critical about the way you look, it’s pretty easy to be unrealistic about what you should look like or want to look like.  Most of us at one time or another, wish we could look like someone else—a movie star or model or someone we know.  Sometimes we feel that we’d give anything if one or two of our features were totally different—like a decent nose instead of the beak we’re cursed with.  These feelings are quite normal.  But you have to be careful not to let your fantasies make reality miserable for you.  If you do, it’ll be hard for you to accept the way you do look.

      Our society doesn’t do much to help us accept our looks, either.  We’re constantly reminded in magazines and TV commercials that only certain kinds of faces and bodies are considered beautiful or handsome.  The further away your face and body are from these ideal types, the more “out of it” you feel.  Try not to get down on yourself because you don’t happen to look like Jessica Alba or Brad Pitt.  Remember that the only reason these people are models and movie stars is because they don’t look like the rest of us.  They are a small minority of the population.

      But what if you already know all the things we’ve been saying, and are still unhappy with the way you look?The first thing you can do is realize that this is a problem.  If you don’t like the way you look, don’t just say to yourself, “I’m ugly” and that’s it.  First, find out exactly what you don’t like about yourself.  Then see if you can change it.  Let’s say you hate your hair because it’s too stringy or too frizzy.  Find a professional hair stylist who knows what type of hairstyle would look best for you.  Or, if you have a skin problem, see your family doctor or dermatologist.  Scrounging up $20 for professional help is better than picking away at your face or hiding yourself away.  The point is, don’t blindly accept what you dislike, without first finding out if you can change it. 

       If you’ve really tried to change what you don’t like about your looks and it doesn’t work—don’t give up.  Emphasize your good qualities!  Many people make the mistake of letting everything go when there’s only one thing that they don’t like about their looks.  If you’ve got great eyes, then by all means show them off!  None of us are exactly what we wish we could be.  Even the girl that sits next to you in class whom you think is gorgeous wishes she could change things about herself.  Never forget your good qualities and use them to your advantage.  People who feel good about themselves carry around a confidence that makes them glow.  The people around you notice this.  If you feel good, you’ll look good too. 

       Lastly, your body is going through major changes right now.  Try not to be too critical of your looks.  It will all come together soon.  Don’t torture yourself by comparing yourself to the unrealistic ideals of physical beauty that you have or that society tries to sell us.  You’ve heard the saying, “Have the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”  It’s a good thing to remember when you’re trying to cope with the way you look.